What is happiness?
Happiness is a noun. 1. The quality or state of being happy. 2. Good fortune, pleasure, joy and contentment.
We all know when we are happy and when we aren’t. It is a feeling.
Many of us have been taught that happiness is something that happens when we are with other people, something they bring to us. When we achieve something or obtain something material, we are told those bring happiness. This puts the source of happiness outside of us, out of our control.
Therefore, logic says we must become unhappy when we don’t have those things in our life.
How many of us have worked hard to achieve the next goal in life (be it the love of another or possession of some sort) only to find it didn’t deliver the happiness we had anticipated? Then we often set a new bigger goal and work hard to get there too, and so on.
There is nothing wrong with achieving; where we go wrong is putting our happiness on hold until we achieve or have whatever it is.
What if we can be happy pretty much all of the time, and it is OK to be so?
What if our happiness is actually a choice we can make, rather than something we have to earn or deserve?
What if our happiness comes from within?
Focusing on staying present in each moment, knowing we are whole, we are perfect just as we are, and that nobody else can take our happiness away can help. Dropping expectations that anyone or anything ‘should’ be different from how it is brings relief as well.
There can be much to be happy about.
Why is happiness important?
If we can create a deep sense of happiness/joy at all times, this enlivens the stuckness and rigidity of the mind. It creates movement and space to loosen the complex webbing of the fabric woven around the identification of our mind to issues, beliefs and even disease.
We can get very attached to ‘stories’ in our lives, and these stories then become another burden that stops us from moving forward with lightness and joy.
Joy can be used as a tool to help shed the burden of the challenges of life. Joy is a key factor in the transformation process as it is the lubricant that assists us in becoming happily child-like and curious, in awe of the world around us.
To acknowledge joy in everything is a sure way to stay connected to our chosen path, for it offers the energy of flexibility and flow.
When we free up the most authentic, joyful, happy version of ourselves, life flows. We are in touch with our intuition and see wonderful opportunities when they appear. If we notice a good gut feeling about something and act upon it when it feels completely choiceless to us to do so, these opportunities take us on a glorious adventure to even more happiness and fulfilment.
If we allow ourselves to get busy, stressed, miserable, doing what others want, acting out of a sense of duty, and so on, we are completely out of touch with our own heart’s desires.
In that state, we can have the biggest, most seemingly obvious opportunity jumping up and down in front of us and just not see it. This low, stressed state takes us out of our power and into increasing misery.
You might have noticed this version of my little lady that I use a lot. She is illustrating this point – we need to step above the emotions that drag us down into the place of happiness from which we get into the flow of light.
Happiness is an inside job
William Arthur Ward
What stops us from being happy?
The biggest reason we dip out of happiness is that our minds tend to like to rule the roost, and we then lose touch with our heart (also called Intuition, gut feel, higher self – use whatever feels right for you).
Our thoughts pick over things that have happened in the past and analyse them. If this is to take the lessons and move on, then it is valuable. If, however, we pack up a load of criticism of ourselves and others into a “suitcase” to carry, using it to beat ourselves up or fuel conflict with others, that will drag us down. We will get a heavier and heavier load to carry and a massive abundance of reasons why we aren’t good enough to refer to at any low moment to boot!
We add into the suitcase other people’s, or society’s, expectations of us as well, so we believe we must not be happy when…
Now obviously, nobody would go into a funeral laughing; it would be very insensitive and unkind. However, neither do we need to absorb everyone else’s turmoil when we go; we can choose to appreciate the person’s life, the readings, the flowers and so on. We can send love and compassion to those who are grieving without losing our own inner balance.
Then, of course, there is the future. The mind also likes us to plan for the future. Yes, it is great to have things to look forward to, dreams we want to achieve and get excited about. However, the mind can create a lot of anxious thoughts every time we attempt anything new. It has a big filing cabinet of events so far in this life that it refers to and wants to pipe up and tell us all the reasons whatever it is won’t work and that it will put us in danger of some sort.
This can be useful, or it can torture us; we have to manage it.
The current moment is the only time we actually have to make changes in life. It is now that we make decisions to create a better life. It is now that we can appreciate that which is around us, feel connected to it, and truly feel happy.
Gratitude can create happiness. What we focus on, we tend to see more of, so it generates more to be happy and grateful about. I remember someone saying years ago that if you’re in a really dark place, spend a few minutes each evening noting down things you are grateful for (this can be done with children too). It can turn your life around.
The barriers we create
When we feel isolated and separate from our true selves, it is a sign that we have created barriers. The barriers between us and the true self create a boundary that keeps us from freedom and from happiness. The barrier is also the key to unlocking the pain; it is built using the mind and can be dissolved in the same way. It can be dismantled; all it takes is a moment of awareness.
Some speak of unravelling the knotted energy threads that hold us in attachment to all things. To me that sounds a bit daunting and over complicated. We just need to drop anything that is dragging us down.
This allows us to gain clarity about the path we are on in life and get back to balance as the wonderful person we truly are.
We create barriers because we think they will protect us. The opposite is true; they just prolong the agony of separation. A barrier that becomes hardened with time requires more effort to dissolve, but it can still be done.
Having a feeling of inner peace whilst living in the modern world is one way to describe this happiness. A feeling of contentment and gentleness with the self rather than an internal battle. A knowing that we are enough, we are worthy of being here and are able to create the life we desire.
Dropping our identity
Dropping the identity with each issue or piece of conditioning held within our life story enables us to take responsibility for it (even if our human believes something has been done to us and it is not our fault).
This means that everything we identify with can be freed and self-realised. Once we become free, we also become limitless; all that stuckness starts to dissolve, setting the ‘Self’ free to flow with universal creation.
The very things that we become attached to bind us in such a way that they limit us by the degree with which we identify with them. Notice any issue you have identified with and visualise detaching, letting go and dissolving it.
There are many examples of our attachments, from material things: cars, houses, status symbols, golf course membership, peer status, personal goals, qualifications, even being sick or having a type of illness can create an attachment; the list is endless.
Although desires to achieve our goals or of owning something are essential in life, there can be a point where an attachment is formed with the achievement of the goal or object. At this point, it becomes an identity with ‘something’ and then starts to limit us; it forms a container in which we gain security and comfort justly deserved through the effort it has taken to get there. This container both protects and limits us.
The container can become rigid depending on the intensity of our identification with it. Eventually, the container defines who we are to others; it then becomes the identity we define ourselves by. For others around us, this is comforting because they know who we are – until one day you change it!
Dismantling the containers is a straightforward process once you have seen them. To do this is liberating, creating freedom for you.
People around you suddenly lose that connection with the container and feel that they cannot track you or read you as they did before. You will observe that they respond differently to you.
Once the touch-paper of dissolving these containers is lit, a rapid process can ensue. We then want to find as many containers as possible and dissolve them so that our life is full of happiness and peace.
Using our Intuition or Inner Guidance
We, of course, share the human experience with others and have learned how to operate our “human” pretty effectively throughout our life. Yet there is something else observing all of that. Something that is gentle, calm, loving and wise. Some say we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
This wiser voice can work alongside our minds to create a different life for us, with greater happiness.
Our intuition, inner guidance, or gut feeling knows what we need to do to feel great and happy in life. It knows we are perfect as we are, that we are love, so we never need to seek it from anyone else. When we can access this more, life is gentler and truly happy.
When we realise happiness is a choice in each moment and that it is key to us flowing with life, we can catch our thoughts and look for a better perspective that can bring appreciation, peace and happiness if we are vigilant in controlling our thoughts.
Wise men and women, even way back in time, spoke of the importance of universal love in the world. Calling on this as the strength underneath our choice to be happy gives it depth and power, and we become unwavering in our seeking of it.
Please get in touch if you would like some support to find your balance in life again and true happiness. I truly believe each of us can.
Rumi said: “Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
How Refreshing Horizons’ services support happiness
I believe that each of us is capable of achieving pretty much anything we want, and we are already perfect.
I am not perfect myself by any means, and I am not on a pedestal focused on ‘fixing’ or ‘healing’ anything ‘wrong’ with my clients. I support each individual to grow, enjoy life more and return to balance, liberating the happiness that each of us has within.
I often strip back the e-Lybra9 bio-resonance session’s focus to “this person achieving happiness” because I remember Mike Dooley saying it is at the core of anything we wish to manifest. It is simple and clear, and the results have been wonderful. One piece of consistent feedback I get is that people feel stronger in themselves, like themselves more, and cope better with life’s more challenging times.
The e-Lybra programmes developed most recently have been specifically designed to help ‘dissolve the containers, the boundaries that limit us so that the recipient can become more of who he/she truly is, not bound by disease or conditioning simply to stand as him/herself in the full connectedness of creation’.
I always include one of them in the longer remote sessions I do for people because we all benefit from that.
The shamanic healing work is similarly very much about getting the recipient’s life on track by removing specific blockages and interferences that are in the way. For this, I work with spirit guides, channelling guidance and healing work uniquely for each person. It is awesome what a big team most of us have ‘on the other side’ absolutely raring to get our lives zinging along!
Homeopathy and essences also are holistic and geared towards balance and happiness.
I love what I do and would be honoured to be of service to you in your life.